new york is ugly now

new york is ugly now.
nothing in this city makes sense anymore. 
i hate the ferry and the pier we walked along.
wandering around brooklyn without you just feels so wrong.
once full of sweet laughter and bubbles,
they became the only memories i could clutch on. 
i thought, one day we would call it home,
spend every spring and winter never feel alone.
one day, we would sprint through the subway, and walk along the coast.

but now you are gone. 
you took the carousel in my fairy tale away,
you let our love and memories fade.  
the moment you said you didn’t love me, 
everything is stained, like an opaque jade.

this city is full of dreams and heartbreaks,
people work hard just to find somewhere to stay.
they come and go, trying to search for a home.
but they forgot how this place once completed their soul.

maybe i’m just too nostalgic and dramatic
i couldn’t let go and call it a page of life.
i would spend days and nights to cry,
thinking about how it used to feel surrounded by butterflies,
what we could have if we gave it a try.

but don’t worry :) i will still wake up just be fine.
when the night comes again,
i will pick up my pen to write another dear friend that never gets sent.
there i am sitting next to the water before the same skyline.
all i could think of was how you looked me in the eyes.
i guess, new york is fine. 
but, it is for people who try,

not for you and i.

goodnight.

to us.

to love.